WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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