am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
she looked like the before picture.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
