you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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