I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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