OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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