Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
