I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
