making cat noises will not fix the situation.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
