I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
