Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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