but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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