WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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