I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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