Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
