covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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