You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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