Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
