What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
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