do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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