I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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