after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
