thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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