she was so not down for the gang bang
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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