fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize
