So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
