they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
