May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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