he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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