There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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