My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize