It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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