i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
