im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
