I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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