Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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