I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
