I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
