I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize