i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Randomize
