The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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