Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Everclear isn't food dammit
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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