moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
