So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
