My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
