so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize