So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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