Tell her she can't have a vagina
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
We talked him into tasing himself.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
