i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
