Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
