i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
