let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
