Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
