You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Can you bring me the toilet please
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
