I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
