Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
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